I purposefully placed Takers first rather than Givers because often we are involved with Takers in our lives more than Givers. When we begin to search for and desire things in others that are not being fulfilled we encounter “Takers”. Persons who take everything that you have, not only material things but drain you emotionally and physically. If every time there is an encounter with this certain person rather on the personal or professional aspect and you are left feeling unsure of what just took place this would be a red flag.
A healthy and honest relationship should have a person feeling safe, secure, and sane. Constantly giving your all to someone when in return you receive nothing is a red flag. The question needing to be asked is “why is the happening?” The answer is a multitude of reasons i.e. depression, low self-esteem, grief, trauma, or addictive personality. I have heard countless times “I gave my all to __________”. This is something that has become acceptable the more you give the more you will receive, this regretfully is not true. Often times we are left wondering why and how could someone love was professed to and expected from be so cold and calculating in the hurt delivered. The person might well have a disorder often misunderstood and minimized although the severity of the symptoms are very common. Persons who have Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Never discard the emotional instability of someone as acceptable behavior, there may be a serious reason for the blatant disregard for empathy and reciprocity in any relationship. Personality Disorders can begin early in adulthood and become progressively worse especially when untreated and enabled by “givers”. The final say of what happens in your life is based on your boundary and limit setting with yourself and others. Never underestimate someone else’s level of maturity and perception of reality. It took time to become unstable and it will require time to become healthy and balanced.
Peace and Blessings…Chantelle